Sexual Problem

I've got a bit of a problem with libido at the moment and I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm in a mutual relationship with my boyfriend who, like me is 19, and we have been together for almost a year. Recently (in the last couple of months) we have not had much sexual contact, mainly due to the fact that when we have an opportunity to be alone, I'm tired or not able to do anything physically. He is okay with this but I feel as though I'm letting him and myself down. There are times when I have loads of energy and can be intimate many times in the one night, but then there are days I feel like I couldn't bring myself to it at all, even with the same amount of sleep, activity etc.

When we are sexual together, it is very energetic. We have fought a lot recently, but I've wanted to make up for it and don't want to disappoint him. We both want it to be like how it was before. We also find it hard to make time for each other much (both have work, uni etc at different times) so I feel like when we are actually together rather than talking on the phone, I owe it to him to make the most of that. I feel pressured by myself but I don't know why because he is accepting (although I can tell inside he is frustrated). Can you please give me some tips as to how to get back my prior feelings?

Thank you.

A. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. I realise when you're 19, you expect to be sexual all day every day but please keep in mind that we are not machines. As humans, variations in feelings, activity, energy, moods etc are all par for the course, especially taking into account all the stresses of life these days.

You have a busy life and it's perfectly natural to feel more energetic and sexual some days and not others. Anyway, sex is one area of life where consistency is not highly prized. It's much better to allow the element of surprise and be as relaxed as possible so that there is the minimum of pressure in your relationship.

You're doing fine - really!




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